1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin' at?

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4.

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb? One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, That's some uvver bleeders job innit.

21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.

I think I need to read Chris' blog posts on the subject again, because I still haven't quite haven't found the equivalent of the Chav in the U.S., and everytime I think I do, something else is said that makes me think differently.

Or pehaps the Chav is a uniquely UK thing.

Hilarious Stephen! Thanks for that. It gave me a good old chuckle!

lol very good!

Chavs (we call them scallies) are skinhead neanderthal "beings" that walk around dragging their knuckles on the ground and have on enough "bling" to make Mr.T jealous.

They wear baseball caps, hooded tops with tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks that are graced with a new pair of brown Rockports.

http://www.chavscum.co.uk explains all!

LMAO thanks for that

What a great site, its nice to see other chav haters are out there!

Sounds liike a mix between Jocks and Goths at my school *Runs off and is tramistied by the thought*

Very funny stuff!

I think chavs are a uniquely British phenomenon, though the description (tracksuit-wearing, bling-sporting, chest-hair-showing, non-educated, "how-YOU-doin'" guy, or, for the girl, excessive-makeup-wearing, ass-cheek-showing, two-kids-by-19 type) reminds me very much of some italian or greek individuals which we referred to in my area of the country as "ginos."

That made my day! We usually refer to them as "neds" up here.

Great!

I've seen this before, but it still makes me laugh every time..

A "chav" is what the stupid Londoners have done, The word started in the North of England as Charva.

Actually it started in Kent where Chavs are said to originate (it is claimed they were kicked out of Essex by the Essex girls for being too loud, stupid and tarty). There's several explanations. A popular one is that they originate in Chatham, another is that there is a high gypsy population in Kent, and that it is a abbreviation of 'Chava' (Romani for girl) and 'Chavo' (Romani for guy)

They also tend to drink cheap lager/cider and smoke pot.

In my experience that describes the entire 15-18 year old population of Britain.

But most of the entire 15-18 year olds are chavs!

Does this mean my sister is a Chav? But, she's not stupid by any means. She got like A's in math all this year! She does wear some of the described jewlery and described type of cap sometimes, but not all the time.

I wouldn't say that, I bet Chris will though.

I'd say getting an A of any kind (or, say, having never been pregnant) disqualifies one... hehe. like scoz said, they're known as neds in scotland, which I've been told stands for non-educated delinquent.

Is she pregnant? Female chavs are either pregnant or mothers, or about to be pregnant.

No. And anyway, despite what her myspace page says, she's not 16.

Age doesn't stop proper chavs! In fact the younger the better!

Well then, I'm assuming that she's not one. Good to know!

I think Chav is a very unique British phonomenom (please somebody, spell check that for me) and it's not the easist thing to describe. So many things can define a chav, and it's based more on pure instinct than anything else.

It also appears to be 'trendy' now, since many people in the town where I live (one of the richest post codes in the UK) are adopting "chav" clothing styles, as well as jewellery and 'chav' language.

Phenomenon ?

Do do do do do!!!

You know I didn't really care.. Just wanted people to be aware that I'm aware I can't spell for crap

I can write off sleeping tonight now I have that tune in my head.

We have a version of Chavs here. I'd prefer not to share their "affectionate" name from the locals, though.

There was one crossing the intersection as I was on my way to work - they flailed their arms about as they walked, had large gaudy chains and a wife-beater... I swear I saw pavement-scrapes on their knuckles, too. And they do try to saunter. They try so hard.

And yet there's still no a) defition of what a 'chav' is and b) reason why every single person in this forum thinks of this discriminated human as a lower life form.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav

but to be a pedant for a moment, surely 20 and 23 contradict each other?

I get the feeling some people here take jokes way too seriously

Show me a single post in this forum that says something good about chavs posted by yourself (in the past, nothing new as of yet).

Show me something good you've said about white trash, yobs and thugs?

Read the wikipedia page, I've got nothing against uneducated people its the "prone to antisocial or immoral behaviour". When people start fights with random people for no reason, abuse people & property, are homophobic/racist for no political/religious reason why should I respect them?

Show me how that's possibly a term for 'good' people. Uneducated and Ignorant? Not that great right?

Unfortunately I had to go to a 'Chav' school last year for AH Computing.

What "chav" school did you have to go to to do AH Computing? There's so many

Chav is by its very nature a stereotype composed around certain stereotypical characteristics which are undesirable. If Chav was interchanged for say a certain class, race, or so on I could see your point, but to become a Chav one must show the very characteristics which we are joking about.

It is rather like Arabs vs. Terrorists. I'm sure no one would say anything good about terrorists, but to generalise Arabs would be totally wrong. OK maybe that's a little OTT, but it demonstrates my point. To be a Chav is not, by its nature, to be a certain segment of society, it is a stereotype like 'goths' 'jocks' or 'nerds', which has undesirable characteristics.

Good joke, thanks for sharing. Though I had no idea what a Chav was until I read the links (Chavscum, Wiki).

For those who don't get it, follow the ChavScum link and click on Celebrity Chavs. Or, just think "Britney Spears and Eminem". In America, a Chav would be like a preppified rapper... like Eminem.

!! Awesome!!

Scoz: Ever heard of Gracemount?

You don't even know what a chav is, so how can you sit there and moan at everyone laughing at them?

FYI, being a chav is a choice. Being working class does not make you a chav. Being uneducated does not make you a chav. It's a collection of things and most of them are choices. Wearing the chav uniform (Burberry, Kappa etc.) is a choice. Wearing bling is a choice. And so on. Chavs want to look like Chavs and so that gives everyone else the right to laugh if they disapprove of it.

It's not the same as being born as an Arab, or gay, or in a working class family. In those cases I would agree with you.

Yes I have Was David Wynn in your class by any chance? I feel sorry for you. I was at Dalkeith High for 6 years and chavs outnumbered us all by like 2:1

I'm hoping to do Comp. Sci. at Edinburgh from September